Small Places : Nick L Belardes [113 of 128]

• Thirty-seven
• Eliza Lumber is one of the worst names imaginable. First contact was made when I peered in the window of her Subaru in the parking lot.
• "Who in the Hell does this car belong to?" I say to Mulani after we tackle a Chinese food buffet. "The new marketing manager," she says.
• The Subaru is filled with Hostess donut wrappers and books on theatre, like: "How to Talk like You're Talking," and "Lights, Camera, You."
• More titles: "Great Theatrical Moments on Forgotten Sitcoms," and "How to Avoid Rigidity in Non-Realism: Epic Muppet Disasters."
• I’m thinking: Here’s someone who wants to learn how to fake her way through life with as much preservatives as possible.
• I'm sitting in Eliza Lumber's office when she blurts: "You know, I don't really know much about marketing and ads. I am picking up on it."
• Me: "Oh, self taught." Eliza leans forward in revelation: "Everything I've learned about advertising is from sitcoms and other TV shows."