A Haunted House: Virginia Woolf [2 of 7]

• But it wasn't that you woke us. Oh, no. "They're looking for it; they're drawing the curtain," one might say, and so read on a page or two.
• "Now they've found it,' one would be certain, stopping the pencil on the margin. And then, tired of reading, one might rise and
• see for oneself, the house all empty, the doors standing open, only the wood pigeons bubbling with content and
• the hum of the threshing machine sounding from the farm. "What did I come in here for? What did I want to find?" My hands were empty.
• "Perhaps its upstairs then?" The apples were in the loft. And so down again, the garden still as ever, only the book
• had slipped into the grass. But they had found it in the drawing room. Not that one could ever see them.

A Haunted House: Virginia Woolf [1 of 7]

• Whatever hour you woke there was a door shutting. From room to room they went, hand in hand, lifting here, opening there,
• making sure--a ghostly couple. "Here we left it," she said. And he added, "Oh, but here tool" "It's upstairs," she murmured.
• "And in the garden," he whispered. "Quietly," they said, "or we shall wake them."

• And my advice to all men is, that if ever they become hipped and melancholy from similar causes (as very many men do),
• they look at both sides of the question, applying a magnifying glass to the best one;
• and if they still feel tempted to retire without leave, that they smoke a large pipe and drink a full bottle first,
• and profit by the laudable example of the baron of Grogzwig.
• The End - The Baron of Grogzwig: A short story by Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

• The figure fell back a pace or two, regarding the baron meanwhile with a look of intense terror, and when he had ceased,
• caught up the stake, plunged it violently into its body, uttered a frightful howl, and disappeared.
• Von Koëldwethout never saw it again. Having once made up his mind to action,
• he soon brought the baroness and the Von Swillenhausens to reason, and died many years afterwards;
• not a rich man that I am aware of, but certainly a happy one: leaving behind him a numerous family,
• who had been carefully educated in bear- and boar-hunting under his own personal eye.

Charles concludes, Virginia begins

Look out for Virginia Wolf next week.

In two days we conclude Charles Dicken's gripping little tale "The Baron of Grogzwig", tweetarrator's first twitter story.

But there is more install...this time with Virginia Wolf's short story, "The Haunted House".  There are only 7 broadcasts for this story so it's a very nice, short, interlude before the next major story, Roald Dahl's "Beware the Dog".

Thanks for being part of this slice of life.

• Come! Quit this dreary world at once." "I don't know," said the baron, playing with the knife; "it's a dreary one certainly,
• but I don't think yours is much better, for you have not the appearance of being particularly comfortable.
• That puts me in mind - what security have I, that I shall be any the better for going out of the world after all!" he cried, starting up;
• "I never thought of that." "Dispatch," cried the figure, gnashing its teeth. "Keep off!" said the baron,
• "I'll brood over miseries no longer, but put a good face on the matter, and try the fresh air and the bears again; and if that don't do,
• I'll talk to the baroness soundly, and cut the Von Swillenhausens dead." With this the baron fell into his chair,
• and laughed so loud and boisterously, that the room rang with it.

• "Well, but they may be one day filled again," said the baron. "Scolding wives," snarled the genius.
• "Oh! They may be made quiet," said the baron. "Thirteen children," shouted the genius. "Can't all go wrong, surely," said the baron.
• The genius was evidently growing very savage with the baron, for holding these opinions all at once; but he tried to laugh it off,
• and said if he would let him know when he had left off joking, he should feel obliged to him.
• "But I am not joking; I was never farther from it," remonstrated the baron.
• "Well, I am glad to hear that," said the genius, looking very grim, "because a joke, without any figure of speech, is the death of me.